I originally shared this in the Walk For Peace Community, but I felt it was relevant to share here as well. First, I apologize for the length of this post, but I wanted to offer a reflection in case anyone else is going through something similar.

This week has been a bit of a blue week for me. I’ve just felt sad. At first, I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, but then I realized there is a lot of change happening around me. Most of it doesn’t directly affect me, but it affects people I care about, and my heart hurts for them because for many, these changes don’t feel positive right now — though I still hope they may become blessings in disguise.

Later, I realized there were also a few personal things weighing on me. They were small matters in the grand scheme of life, especially considering everything happening in the world today, but they still mattered to me. That realization brought guilt. I started feeling guilty for being sad when others are carrying much heavier burdens.

But after sitting with those feelings for a couple of days, I realized something important: the world will probably always feel unbalanced. There will always be people who have it better than us, and people who have it worse. We are all living different lives and carrying different struggles.

It’s okay to feel upset about something that hurts your heart, even if it seems insignificant compared to larger problems in the world. Your feelings still matter.

It’s also okay to not always be happy. I struggled with this because every day I faithfully write, “Today is going to be my peaceful day.” I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t feeling happy. But then I realized a peaceful day does not necessarily mean a happy day. A peaceful day means we are not controlled by our emotions or reacting harmfully because of them.

These blue periods come over me from time to time. In the past, when I felt overwhelmed, I would lash out at others. But this time, I didn’t. For that, I am truly grateful for the teachings of Venerable Bhikkhu Paññākāra.

It’s okay to have sad feelings. We just can’t live inside them forever. Feel them, acknowledge them, and then let them pass. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and trust that the next moment may feel lighter.

For me, that lighter moment came while watching a video of Venerable Bhikkhu Paññākāra learning that “Aloka Uncle Monk” had forgotten his passport. His smile was so full of warmth, and the Venerable monk recording his laughter was absolutely infectious. It instantly made me laugh too. And not to worry — Venerable Bhikkhu Piyadhammo made it inside in the end. Laughter truly is infectious.

We often say to others:

May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you be peaceful.

But maybe we should start saying those words to ourselves too — and showing ourselves the same kindness we so freely give to others.

I’m feeling better now. I just needed to move through the emotions instead of sitting in them. In the past, I would stay stuck in sadness much longer. I’m truly grateful for these teachings because I continue discovering new ways they are helping me grow into a better and more peaceful person.